For me, burnout didn't feel like one big crash. It felt like a knot in my stomach that never went away, checking my email all the time, and going quiet in an office where I used to be the chatty one. I spent 15 years in banking and financial services, and the hardest stretch was my first year in New York.
I've written about the year I realized I was burned out. This is the part that came long before I had a name for it.
Year One in New York
I hadn't worked in a year when I started at my company in New York. I really wanted to prove myself. I didn't know anyone, and I was learning how to be a consultant, which is very different from working in industry.
I could feel a lot of competition in the office. I felt like I had to be checking my email all the time.
The beauty of consulting is that, eventually, you get to choose who you work with. But at the beginning, I didn't have the network to find the right projects, so the firm assigned me. I ended up on a team with some people who weren't happy in their own careers, and some of that landed on me.
The Baby Shower Weekend
One weekend, I flew home for my sister-in-law's baby shower. I worked all day Friday, to the point my family was yelling at me because it was time for dinner, and we still had to decorate for the shower.
On Sunday, at the airport on my way back, I saw an email. The team had been looking for documents over the weekend. I was supposed to upload my work to a portal. I don't remember anyone ever telling me that, and I was too new to know. My manager had assigned someone else to redo all of it.
I felt sick to my stomach. I was in a panic. I sent the team my documents right away, but by then they'd already redone them. I thought I'd really messed up and was going to be in big trouble.
I freaked out the whole rest of the night: on the plane, and when I got home. I was beside myself with worry, and I dreaded going into work the next morning, because I knew I'd be in trouble over it.
Looking back, my manager was under a lot of pressure from his own senior manager, and he was trying to leave the firm. I didn't know that at the time.
Going Quiet
I wasn't my usual self. I was very quiet in the office. My manager thought I was unhappy and about to quit. I think he was projecting a bit, but he wasn't wrong that I was unhappy. The team wasn't easy to work with, and nobody seemed very interested in getting to know me.
That's the thing about burnout that I didn't understand then. It doesn't always look like exhaustion. Sometimes it looks like someone who used to talk a lot, sitting quietly at her desk, waiting for the project to end.
Working the Day After Surgery
At the same time, I was dealing with fibroids. I'd already had a surgery and a hospital visit before I started the job. Another surgery was scheduled while I was on that project, and it didn't work. It just kept going.
When I had the surgery, I took off only the day itself. The next day, I was working remotely. The senior manager told me I should take more time, and I didn't feel comfortable doing it. I already felt like I was under so much pressure.
Even now, writing this brings me right back to it. I had so much anxiety about work and about my health, and I couldn't put either one down. Mostly, I just wanted that project to be over.
Then It Got Better
That's the part I want you to hear, too. When that project ended, I'd started building a network. The next team was wonderful. I liked the client, I got to travel, which I'd wanted to do, and everything felt so much easier. That was the turning point for me at that company. I really enjoyed what I was doing for a long time after that.
The first six to nine months were rough. They weren't the whole story.
When the Five-Year Plan Stopped Fitting
The bigger shift came during COVID. I'd left New York, I'd moved to a new client that was hard to work with, and we were going through layoffs. Some very good friends of mine were laid off, and I was upset about it.
I'd gotten the promotion I wanted. The next step in my plan was to move abroad with my company. But I realized I'd be doing the same work, just somewhere else, and with my visa tied to the job, it would be much harder to leave if I wasn't happy.
I'd always thought I'd go back to industry one day. But that didn't feel right either. I wasn't happy in what I was doing, and in industry I wouldn't even get to choose who I worked with.
It was scary. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I thought about starting over in a new field, but I worried about money, and about going back to a starting salary when a lot of my friends in New York were already making more than me.
Saying Yes, Eventually
By then, I'd already found sound baths. I'd started going because I wanted to feel less anxious, after hating meditation. A sound healing career wasn't the plan.
When a sound healing training came up, I agonized over it for six months. I said no the first time. The second time, I said yes, terrified, with no idea how much the bowls would cost. If I'd known, I probably wouldn't have done it, or I'd still be agonizing.
I did the training while I was still client facing, and it was hard. Almost a year later, I moved to an internal role. It was a gradual exit, not a dramatic one.
What I Miss
I miss some of the people. I miss collaborating in a team room, traveling together and team dinners. Yes, there were long hours, but there was also a lot of laughter, and I learned so much from really smart people. I miss some of my clients, too.
I don't miss the messy work, or the clients I'd rather forget.
What I'd Tell You If You're in It Now
Notice the quiet signs. A knot in your stomach, checking email all weekend, going quiet at work. They count.
Set clear expectations with your team. I wish I'd asked: how often should I be checking email? Do I need to check it on the weekend? Instead of guessing and feeling anxious all the time, I could have said, "If something's urgent, here's my personal number, and I'm happy to help." Then I wouldn't have had to check the rest of the time.
Talk to someone you trust at work. If there's a friend or confidant at your company and you feel comfortable, let them know what's going on. One of my regrets is not talking to a friend who'd started at the firm a year before me. I think she would have told me, honestly, that this team was a mess, and that it wasn't typical.
Use the support your company offers. If there are mental health services, use them. That's what they're there for.
Who you work with matters. If you can choose your team or your projects, it's worth the effort.
Take care of your health. Go to the doctor, make time to exercise, book the sound bath. Without an outlet, all that stress and anxiety has nowhere to go. And if someone senior tells you to take more time off, believe them.
You don't have to quit to make a change. For me, it started with one yes, then a long, slow shift. I wrote more about what actually helps with burnout recovery.
Find something that lets you switch off without trying. For me, that was sound. You just have to show up, and the sound does the work.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does burnout feel like?
It's different for everyone. For me, it felt like a knot in my stomach that didn't go away, checking email all the time, and going quiet at work. It doesn't always look like exhaustion.
Did burnout make you quit your corporate job?
Not on its own. The plan I'd had stopped fitting during COVID. I did a sound healing training while still working with clients, moved to an internal role almost a year later, and made the change gradually.
How can I stop checking work email all the time?
Ask your team what they actually expect, instead of guessing. Agree on how urgent things reach you, like a call or a text, so you don't have to keep checking the rest of the time.
Do you have to quit your job to recover from burnout?
No. Small changes count: choosing who you work with, taking real time off, and making space for something that helps you rest.
Is burnout common in consulting?
In my experience, it's common, especially when you're new, don't have a network yet, and feel you have to prove yourself.
How did sound healing help with burnout?
It gave me a way to calm down without having to try. I hated meditation, but with a sound bath, you just lie down and listen.
If any of this sounds familiar, contact me about a private session in Lagos or anywhere in the Algarve. Or start with my free 5-Minute Sound Bath Reset. No baby showers will be interrupted.
